The Curse...of THE VIEW!!!!

Dunt dunt duuuuuuuuhnnn!

By now I'm sure that you all know that professional casualty Anna Nicole Smith is finally dead.

While less-imaginative minds will accept the obvious explanation, that cold-blooded supermodel and magician's moll Claudia Schiffer has finally had her whacked as the culmination of an elaborate decade-long revenge plot, there is clearly something yet more sinister afoot:

If you too didn't have a job, you would have known that only today, the very day of Anna Nicole's demise, the jaundiced eye of The View fell upon her, as they appeared to chat about her general predicament with a glee that was most definitely not Schadenfreude. Sure, most of the people The View discuss don't die that day. But that's just part of the coverup.

Clearly, the eldritch energies focussed when Rosie O'Donnell and the scrawny Republican one actually agree on something struck Anna Nicole Smith dead where she stood.