I'm keeping a chainsaw under the bed from now on.

That's not because I'm continually losing faith in the government. Well, not precisely.

My car has reached a certain age and has begun to develop quirks. The first of these is a tendency for the engine to die (it's an automatic) if not kept inside a certain RPM range in first gear and reverse. The second, which seems to have evolved between nine last night and seven this morning, is that the driver's side door will not unlock unless the key is shaken violently in the lock.

It is clear that the circumstances are converging to make my car an ideal part of a "frantic getaway" setpiece in a horror/slasher film. I can only hope it's the former and not the latter -- I am far better equipped to vanquish supernatural evil than some nutjob with a mattock.