So you want to stride purposefully toward the camera in slow motion.

Once I promised that this would be a semi-regular feature. I also implied, though I never promised, that I would keep up this weblog. So here you go.

• YOU ARE: A doomed Vietnam War platoon.
  YOUR SONG: "Hey Joe," Jimi Hendrix.


• YOU ARE: A pair of dolorous young men with or without literary pretensions.
  YOUR SONG: "The Boxer," Simon & Garfunkel.


• YOU ARE: Skeletons.
  YOUR SONG: "Danse Macabre," Camille Saint-Saëns.


• YOU ARE: Vampires.
  YOUR SONG: "Some Kind of Stranger," Sisters of Mercy.


• YOU ARE: Will Smith.
  YOUR SONG: Your crossmarketed single.


• YOU ARE: Carnivorous wildlife in a documentary.
  YOUR SONG: "Slow This Bird Down," Boards of Canada.


• YOU ARE: Carnivorous wildlife in a drama/suspense film.
  YOUR SONG: "Angel," Massive Attack.


• YOU ARE: About to kill a lot of space aliens all at once.
  YOUR SONG: "Cowboys From Hell," Pantera.


• YOU ARE: American criminals (petty).
  YOUR SONG: "The Boys Are Back In Town," Thin Lizzy.


• YOU ARE: American criminals (master).
  YOUR SONG: "The Big Payback," James Brown.


• YOU ARE: American criminals (organized).
  YOUR SONG: "La donna é mobile" from "Rigoletto," Giuseppe Verdi.


• YOU ARE: British criminals.
  YOUR SONG: "Angel," Massive Attack.


• YOU ARE: Carnivorous wildlife in a Will Ferrell comedy.
  YOUR SONG: "Never Never Gonna Give Ya Up," Barry White.


• YOU ARE: Wearing sunglasses.
  YOUR SONG: "Angel," Massive Attack.